TOM ITO

Social Media Stalker

In the future, no one will care about money. The world will not bat an eye in regard to your stock portfolio, your 401K or what assets you currently have liquid. On the contrary, net worth will be determined by the amount of blue thumbs your panoramic shot of a Golden Retriever puppy earns. Your credit score will be a direct reflection of your retweets and your Roth IRA will just be a debt to income ratio of your YouTube followers.

Now we at the Hit House are not saying they invented Time Travel in future. We are not saying they sent back a man with the skills to help survive a purely Social Media based economy. And by no means are we saying that his name is Tom.

But…hypothetically…if that did happen we’d “Hypothetically” guess that his backstory would involve growing up in Newport Beach, attending UPenn and moving back back to Cali Cali. It might aid in his cover if he told people he toured all over the world in his youth singing, but also played piano and violin. Us Ol’ Timeys (as Future folk might call us on Instagram) would possibly be more likely to buy Tom’s claim of being a millennial if he boasted of having worked all over the world at various agencies. And it may add to his credibility if he spoke of being an on and off-screen talent in innumerable commercial and theatrical productions. That’s what we would say IF Tom was a super tweet machine from the year 2173 rocketed through space/time to ensure The Hit House’s Global Domination. But that’s not what we’re saying…

No, we aren’t saying that all.

All we are allowed, PROUD to say is: There is a dude name Tom who does our social media. He is really good at it and we don’t know why.